Introspection of a Young God
by Xalthos
Summary: In which the god of the D Gray Man Universe is dying, and chooses a very unlikely successor to wield the equally unlikely Heart of Sorry, doesn't have much to do with the actual characters, just a brief mention of But it is intended to be in the same universe as D Gray Speculation


AN:/ Not really having anything to do with the Man Universe besides the mention of some characters and concepts, none of the characters in the series make a physical appearance. More like a 'what if' the god of the universe of the Man series chose a very unlikely successor. IDK I just came up with this out of nowhere. u vu

I don't understand how I came to be a god. I just don't. I think it was serendipitous, as I was in the right place at the right time. Or was it because I could synchronize with the 'Heart' without my body breaking down. Is the 'Heart' truly that important? Maybe it was because I could synchronize with all of the offshoots of the 'Heart', or is that because I could synchronize with the 'Heart'?

Either way, I have two of what those exorcists call 'Innocence'. A near impossibility. The only other being that possesses two is General Cross Marian. However, unlike his second Innocence, linked to him by dark magic, I genuinely synchronize with both. Or at least that's what Cailux said. Cailux being the previous god.

My two Innocence's, the equipment-type 'Heart', Macabre Dance, and the parasitic-type Blood Wings. the one I possess to masquerade as an exorcist in order to pass judgment on this holy war. I feel more like an angel of death, to be quite frank. Everyone in the Order expects the 'Heart' to be some adorable power. It's not. The 'Heart' is called as such because it is the origin of the Innocence, and that's it. It doesn't have some adorable power or whatever. Macabre Dance allows me to control the dead and use them as weapons. Man the Order would hate that. They'd say it's just like Akuma.

...Speaking of Akuma, I am one. I am unsure how I am able to wield the holy weapon 'Innocence'. Is it because of experiments that _they _performed on me before_ they _forcibly turned me into an Akuma? I don't understand. I was the guinea pig._ They_ said I had evolved further than all of the other Akuma. I don't know what that means. Maybe my demonic nature is how I'm able to control these Innocence of mine, as they both are quite dark in nature despite being holy weapons. Supposedly.

Or maybe I was selected to be the 'God' because of my rather un-Akuma like nature. Unlike others, I was forced to kill, to consume, to evolve. I never wanted that. But _they _forced me to regardless. This unusual personality manifested in my dark matter ability: negation of other dark matter. Due to said ability, I was called a 'failure' by _them_, even though they said in the same breath I evolved further than any other Akuma before. I kept it a secret from _them_ that my ability extended to more than just negation of dark matter, that was a mere fraction of my power. My true power is manipulation of other dark matter, with negation being encompassed into that. I hated it, so I just used it for negation.

All I want is a world without Akuma, without Innocence, without war. Cailux thought the same way. Maybe that's why I became his successor; we shared the same ideals. I guess I could understand that. Why would you want someone that doesn't share your ideals to succeed you? Even if they originated from the very thing that you were supposed to hate? Exceptions are a big part of this world.

One such example, is Macabre Dance. He can take the form of a male that looks quite similar to me. In order to fit in with our masquerade of being exorcists, he created his own Innocence to wield. How funny, an Innocence wielding another Innocence. I suppose the name of his Innocence, Gemini Mirror, fits him. He did duplicate my appearance after all.

Innocence itself is rather queer. Parasitic types, like my Blood Wings, tends to feed off of preference for certain abilities or in my case, prior abilities. _They_ wanted to make a 'perfect Akuma'. _They _were idiots. There is no such thing as perfection in this world. To make their 'perfect Akuma', they made me, their guinea pig, subject to various tests and implantation of various abilities. The one that stuck was the one that Blood Wings plays off of: Manipulation of Iron. Blood wings takes it a step further and turns blood, both my own and that of my opponents, into an Akuma destroying weapon. How ironic.

The Order, they always assume that their 'God' is the picture of holiness. When they say that when I can hear, I have to suppress a laugh. They don't know what I do. If they did, they'd be... shocked? Depressed? Crushed? I don't know. It's funny, how they think they deserve to win the holy war because the Noahs create Akuma that devour humans. Yet they are just as bad, if not worse. They think that their experiments to create exorcists haven't gone unnoticed. Pitiful, really. They were so desperate to win the war that they sunk even lower than the beings they are trying to eradicate.

I heard some scientist from the Asia Branch mention that, and everyone simply pointed out that the results of those vile experiments helped alleviate the load on the exorcist, and that some sacrifices were necessary to win. How pitiful. That scientist got it exactly right. What's the point of winning if in doing so, you sink so low? They call Macabre Dance and Blood Wings 'demonic', yet not their inhumane experiments? What a double standard. Macabre Dance and Blood Wings are the result of the Innocence that they hold so dear bonding with me as an 'Host'. Their inhumane experiment are the result of the twisted human mind sinking to desperation to win the holy war. They don't even realize that by doing so, they have already lost. By doing so, it's not 'Good against Evil' like they claim, but rather 'Evil against Evil'.

Those clueless humans. They don't understand how this world works, no matter how much they claim to do so. They claim they are carrying out 'God's Will'. They're not. What blatant, bold faced lies. If that was true, they wouldn't continue their search for Innocence and carry out their desperate measures to win the holy war.

Neither side deserves to win. Sorry Cailux. I don't see what you saw in the humans for you to give them Innocence. All I see is a pitiful planet with two sides waging a war that neither side deserves to win.


End file.
